I'm no gardener. The only thing I'm good at growing is weeds, and I don't even try to do that.

Nonetheless, our yard does feature a garden. It's under Kaity's charge, but she's taken a rather laissez-faire attitude about it this year. I think she gave up on it after the green beans died before they even got going.

This year's patch features broccoli, peppers, strawberries and tomatoes. The berries turned out horribly, only producing tiny morsels that seemed to have more seeds than fruit. The broccoli has been assaulted by bugs, while the peppers have produced rather well. That's not really a surprise – I think you could grow a pepper plant in the crack of a sidewalk.

I only really care about the tomatoes. There's nothing I love more than a nice vine-ripe tomato from the garden. They don't compare to anything you can get at the store, which is the point of having a garden. In my humble opinion, there's really no sense in growing something like a potato that tastes the same no matter where you get it.

The only thing I usually do with the garden is mow around it. That changed this year, as I was responsible for tilling it prior to planting. I had never run a tiller before and still don't know if I can claim to have done so. That thing ran me when I was operating it.

I've also weeded the pain in the neck twice this year. I used a claw the first time, which tore up my hands something fierce. I also attempted to reduce our crab grass problem by sprinkling yard clippings on top of the churned dirt. It didn't work out so great, which is why I was on my hands and knees cursing the weeds last weekend.

The crab grass had exploded into a hearty crop. I hate looking at the stuff, so I started yanking it one by one on Saturday. It took forever. Thankfully the ground was wet so the plants couldn't resist my efforts too strongly, but it was a pain nonetheless. My back and legs are still killing me from crouching and stretching so much.

The bed of my pickup was completely full of the green stuff when I finally called it quits. I would have marveled at it if I wasn't so mad.

Whether or not my efforts lead to less weed growth next year remains to be seen. I'd rather not have a garden at this point, because if I'm the only one who's going to deal with it, Kentucky bluegrass seems like a much better option. I don't think my opinion on the matter will be taken into consideration, though.

In the meantime, I'll be scraping dirt from my fingernails waiting for the tomatoes to turn red. I suppose that's a decent reward for my efforts even if the crab grass comes back with a vengeance next year. If nothing else grows, we'll certainly have a bumper crop of that.

Nick Pedley is the news editor of The Hartley Sentinel/The Everly-Royal News.