Look, I’ve got nothing against the Christmas season. The spirit, cheer and generosity are all more than enough to warm my Grinch-like heart.

Then there are the lights. For lack of a better phrase, I love seeing a house lit up like a Christmas tree. It always makes me pause and admire the work of minor electrical engineering it took to get them up there, and I can respect an individual so ripe with the holiday spirit that they put in hours of labor to display their cheer.

That type of individual is not I, but I did brave Sunday’s blustery and cold conditions clinging to a ladder for dear life w...